


fill her

by allthewaydown



Series: when sun and moon collide [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Band, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Drug Use, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Overdosing, Reverse Love story, Zutara OPM Week, ZutaraOPM, band au, kinda the last five years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthewaydown/pseuds/allthewaydown
Summary: though i can't see you, i can feel youi'm so glad you open my door.when i get near, all my fears disappearand i won't be alone anymore.-- fill her, eraserheads; for zutaraOPM week- zuko at katara's wake; modern au
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: when sun and moon collide [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002132
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	fill her

**Author's Note:**

> major trigger warning:
> 
> drugs and overdosing. 
> 
> please be prepared if you continue reading.

when i get near all my fears disappear  
and i won't be alone anymore — fill her, eraserheads

* * *

The very last time he finds himself in SaGuijo, it is a windy September night, three years after he meets Katara. Zuko stands in the back of the bar, leaning against the concrete walls, watching as familiar faces fill the small room in clusters. They whisper amongst each other and glance at him with sympathetic eyes that he avoids by looking into a glass of what he can only assume is _San Miguel_. The liquor burns as he downs it and the dim light of the makeshift stage begins to flicker.

Once again he lurks in the back as he stares at her. But this time, instead of watching her sway while her fingers dance on her neck of her bass, a large image of her smiling face leans against an easel that is perched in the middle of the stage.

Katara’s portrait sends shivers down Zuko’s spine in a similar way that her touch used to. He misses the way her hands would trail down his arms and the way his fingers would trace the moon tattoo that was inked on her back. He misses the way her voice sounds when she calls his name and he misses the way her hair flowed through his fingers.

He looks up from gazing at the portrait and sees Sokka trailing in with Suki on his arm, a sullen look on his face. Katara’s death is as painful to him as it is for her brother in ways no one could comprehend. The two men glance at each other and nod quickly before Sokka gets lost in the small crowd and Zuko is alone with his thoughts.

The first time he meets Katara, her band that she created with Sokka, _Crossroads,_ was still in its early stages. He would secretly attend their local shows, hiding from his sister who headed the band that he was then a part of.

When Katara and Sokka’s band began to gain traction, a year after they started their relationship, Katara was quick to respond to all of the managerial responsibilities that were presented to them. She was always available for interviews, for commentaries, always representing the band in the best way. She became the face of _Crossroads,_ much to their lead singer’s disappointment.

And as fast as _Crossroads_ grew, so did Katara’s involvement in the darker aspects of being in a band. 

He remembers the first time that he found her in a circle of groupies, lines of cocaine laid out on a table in front of them. He was furious and confused and in disbelief to find the most hard headed woman succumb to peer pressure.

_It’s only one time! I won’t do it again. I just want to loosen up. It’ll be okay._

Zuko can recite every lie she fed him like the back of his hand. 

One time turned to five times turned to forgotten moments and Zuko saving a tweaked out Katara many a night. 

He would be remiss to say that he had never gotten involved with the drugs as well. Once or twice he found himself cuddled next to Katara on a random couch both too high to remember anything. But there was something in Zuko that was missing in Katara that helped him resist any other urge to get high. 

There were nights where Zuko would drive hours away from their apartment to pick Katara up from a “gig” that ended up just being B rated band members tweaking out in an abandoned building. Katara was great at shielding the truth from their fans but it was clear to everyone close to her that she was getting addicted to a substance that would ultimately kill her.

Aang and Toph, the lead singer and the drummer approached Zuko and Sokka multiple times with plans to try and get Katara to stop and get her into rehab which just ended with screaming fights and her disappearing for days. 

She was uncontrollable for a full year. Zuko was unable to have conversations with her, always circling around the same topic over and over again, an endless cycle of _what can I do to help you._

He had hoped his love was enough to pull her out of the hole she dug herself in, but as the addiction grew, Katara’s love for him shrank.

The final time Katara is coherent, Zuko finds her curled in a ball on the floor, her withdrawal overwhelming her entire being. She promises him that it is the last time, and it technically was not a lie.

Zuko cries and hugs her close when he finds her lifeless in their bed a few weeks later. 

Katara becomes ash in a blink of an eye and at her wake Zuko is barely alive himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is my super late contribution for ZutaraOPM Week. I’ll update every other day just for time to edit but most of it will be drabbles and streams of consciousness. this is my ... version of “the last five years”
> 
> the chapters will be titled and loosely based on the lyrics of the filipino song of choice. and since it’s like two weeks after, the prompts are kinda loosely thrown in there haha! 
> 
> let me know what you think! i should be updating kiss me quick soon! i just started my new job so i’m trying to balance everything out now that i have less free time. 
> 
> please review!


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